„You can not have what you want until you deserve what you want”
Mastering your psychology is critical to find long term success and fulfillment — and investing in yourself plays a crucial role in that process.
Your actions primarily carry out orders from your subconscious programming, and the way you invest in yourself, how deserving and entitled you believe yourself to be — creates indirect communication and other unconscious signals to the world around you and everyone you come into contact with in your day to day life.
As legendary psychiatrist, Sir David Hawkins says:
“People simply mirror back your internal belief systems”.
So succeeding begins with believing what you say, and believing what you say, begins with how you act. Following through on actions create confidence.
So getting that massage without feeling an ounce of guilt programs yourself to believe you deserve. Do it.
Investing in that course you had to borrow money for because you value learning over anything else. Do it. Dont’ feel guilty.
Act like you deserve, intending to pay it back 100 times over and watch it come true.
I woke up to a messy room this morning and wondered if a master writer and billionaire entrepreneur should have such a messy room.
The old me would have said “world renown writers and billionaire entrepreneurs don’t have messy rooms so you’re not that.”
This is absolutely false.
The true and faithful energy inside of me wholeheartedly believes that world renown writers and billionaire entrepreneurs don’t even take a second to consider that stuff.
The winner believes “I want a clean room so I can wake up with a cleaner mind and better mental space, but the solution is to remove it from my plate and have someone else do it for me and I should get that for myself immediately because I deserve it.” I’ve now added this to my list.
Though I can’t financially afford this yet, I know that’s the answer and I know that’s what I deserve. Therefore I possess it and I know it will follow, and very soon.
In fact, I may just do it and use it as a force function to increase my expenses so I begin producing more. Imagine that, every single day having your place cleaned and tidied up so you don’t have to ever worry about it again.
If this sounds crazy to you, you don’t believe you deserve it. Believe you do.
It should be standard and is to many who produce at a high level.
“Of course I save my time spent cleaning to further invest in myself and produce more.”
We all deserve it and shouldn’t say anything but.
Leonardo DiCaprio wakes up and believes he deserves it. I can guarantee you that when he couldn’t afford it, he still believed he deserved it and knew it was coming.
It’s incredible how imposter syndrome affects us.
- I don’t deserve to be here.
- Who am I to have that?
- Why would those people work with me?
Believing you deserve is half the battle to getting what you want so act the part, believe you deserve and invest in yourself.
Here Are 7 Ways You Must Invest In Yourself To Signal To The World You Deserve What You Want
1. Take Leisure Time For Yourself
Me time, that’s only and all for you to indulge in the things you wouldn’t otherwise do is a must. You deserve it and need to believe you deserve it. Take leisure time for yourself without an ounce of guilt.
You have one life to live and at the end of it, you want to have known you had a leisurely life without an ounce of guilt.
One of the biggest regrets of the dying, as reported by Bronnie Ware was “I wish I didn’t work so much.”
The higher stakes the job, position or posting, the more leisure time you actually need because rest and recovery is critical.
This is why the president of the United States and CEO’s of corporations take vacations like it’s their job. It’s actually required for them to do their job as best they can and the masters of their field know this.
2. Decide You’ll Never Feel Guilty Again
Guilt is a useless feeling. It’s never enough to make you change direction — only enough to make you useless. — Daniel Nayeri
This is huge as many of us feel guilty for not working, being productive, taking days off or anything really. Whether it’s ‘immigrants guilt’ a lot of my peers and I face, or the ‘guilty conscience’ that was passed down to us as a sign of virtue, it’s the worst waste of time.
Decide you’ll never feel guilty again.
Successful people don’t feel guilty. Successful people are entitled and believe they deserve. This is why so many of them often come off as ‘entitled’ or even ‘arrogant’. You may think this works against them but it actually doesn’t. People give you what you believe you deserve. If you go in and believe you should be CEO, you should. If you don’t and go in for a long shot, you won’t be. Ask for the CEO role, act like the CEO (by treating yourself like a CEO does) and don’t ever feel guilty about it.
The fastest employee I ever saw rise through the ranks at my last company was the most aggressive and entitled person I’d ever come across. I couldn’t stand him at first but I grew to respect him (you always do, and I was much more naive at the time). I just couldn’t understand why this 25 year old believed he should be Director, then VP, then COO and now CEO. His name is Will Friend and he helped take that company to a $50 million sale and continues to run it today.
3. Invest in Outside Help
I invest in coaching. Benjamin P. Hardy invests in coaching. Bill Clinton has spent millions on coaching. Most of the Fortune 500 CEO’s spend millions on coaching. The higher the stakes, the more you need a coach. Bill Clinton called Tony Robbins the night before he was due to be impeached the next day. Josh Waitzkin coaches hedge fund managers of multi billion dollar investment funds who make decisions worth billions and impact tens of thousands. The more successful you are, the more you can use coaching. As much as you want to be successful, you’ll need coaching.
The value in someones experience having “ been there and done that” and having it passed down to you is priceless. It’s as simple as that, especially a coach on a particular topic such as writing, goal achievement or anything else specific.
Coaching sometimes get’s misperceived as having a guru or teacher but it’s different. Coaching is simply an objective person who can give it to you as straight as you need it. The harsher the better. The more experience they have, the better.
Your friends don’t do that for you, they tell you what you want to hear because they have to be friends with you forever. Your family can’t do that for you because they also have to live with you forever. It’s hard to be objective when you’re so vested and immersed in what you’re doing.
A good coach can zoom out and tell you with pure confidence ‘no, that’s not how to think about that, here’s how to decide’. Or ‘if you’re struggling with this, here’s a strategy to keep in mind and practice for the next week until we meet again.’
Good coaches use metrics and measure your success, and hold you accountable. They’re successful themselves and have proven it beyond a reasonable doubt. Remember to always take advice from someone you’d only want to trade places with.
4. Invest In Luxury Living and Products
“We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.” — James R. Ball
Again, investing in yourself is so you can deserve what you want.
You can’t get what you want if you don’t possess it already. I’ve definitely spent a big portion of the finite amount of money I’ve had in my bank account on a luxury item before. Why? Because I deserve it, and my success is the world’s success.
And what you possess tangibly communicates and signals to other people. People want to work and be around people who already possess. I spent six months searching for a new bag for work. I couldn’t decide between a messenger, backpack or briefcase — and am passionate about design and products.
Given I’m doing a start up and recently moved to San Francisco, I finally decided on the more casual backpack. Then I went to all my favorite brands, the best in the world. I held out for the perfect one because that’s what I deserved. Even on my minimal start up salary (which I promise only pays the bills living in a major city), I went to Hermes and other brands. My ideal backpack I saw was $8,000. Yes, you read that right. That may sound crazy but there are plenty of people who don’t flinch at an $8,000 backpack. What would it take for you not to flinch? Don’t flinch!
I could not financially afford that at the time but know I’m going to buy each color very soon.
I ended up going with a $300 Tumi, which was super stylish and even $300 isn’t anything to sneeze at. I get complemented on it all the time.
Here’s the principle at work:
On a trip to Columbia for my friends bachelor party just last week, someone at the coffee shop asked me about the bag, and we ended up geeking out on bags and other shared interests and sat and had coffee for an hour.
Turns out, he’s a PHD from Montana and wants to learn blogging. I’m now pitching him to join my writing mastery coaching course and given both of our affinities for high end products, I know he’s the perfect profile of client.
There you have it, like attracts like and I’m sure he’ll invest in himself for the blogging course.
5. Invest In Learning For Your Own Personal Growth — Not Because You Have To “Train For Work”
Learn what you like, it’s as simple as that. Be as selfish about it as possible. My big theory on why I’m exceptional at personal growth is because I’m constantly trying to grow myself and it’s perhaps because I’m the most selfish person on Earth.
Does that mean I’m self absorbed? I don’t know but I know I am always looking for a way to improve and love writing about it. Read whatever you like that expands your mind.
Learn and practice that deep inclination you know you always have and if money were no object, you’d follow 100%. Do it. You deserve it. If you can create the conditions and environment to succeed at it in the open markets, do that as well. But the foundation needs to be there prior. I read history, spirituality, finance and more, all because reading is fun. The way I apply it to my day to day is to be determined.
Should I be learning about learning software and training in the enterprise? Maybe, but I don’t. And it doesn’t matter. I’ll succeed anyway.
6. Invest In Earning More, Not Consuming Less
You deserve your morning latte each day. The house cleaning service so you don’t have to clean and the chef that makes the highest grade food that keeps your machine running at the right pace you need to produce at such a high rate.
With everything you spend your time on, there’s opportunity cost. In a world of 7 billion people that’s growing, yet more and more competition each day, you need to do everything you can to optimize your best work being put forward, so you can earn more and more.
Eventually you’ll reach a place where money doesn’t matter and all this stuff will be an afterthought. I’ve been rich and also been broke so know full well just how much money doesn’t buy happiness.
I lived in a 6,000 ft penthouse and was never less happy than I was then.
What’s funny is it’s always at the high points we actually learn how meaningless money actually is in our long term fulfillment.
Things become the norm and become necessities, and often create new obligations whether it’s upkeep, friends and mandatory maintenance from a hundred different angles.
The moment you get used to them, they aren’t interesting anymore. Fulfillment comes from mastering the hard things that are free.
Inner growth, creative output, overcoming fear, having great relationships. Money is meaningless without relationship. Nothing has meaning without relationship. Art isn’t worth making if no one can see it.
7. Invest In Your Body/Mind
Your body is the physical manifestation of your mind. Having a powerful one body and brain is a must. Invest in the highest quality food and supplements to enhance your brain and body. Don’t wait until you can ‘afford’ good food or healthcare.
Yes, if cash isn’t there, you don’t buy, but the moment you can afford it, you do it. You deserve it and nothing less. You earn your first money so you can pay for these things because you deserve them.
Don’t worry about the people who preach frugality and ‘saving’. Frugality certainly has it’s place and saving is a strategy, but they don’t get you where you ultimately want to go and who wants to live denying themselves the best.
Frugality and saving is all relative and this is the farthest thing from suggesting to run around and not live in a budget or have financial discipline because that’s required for getting what you want.
You wont’ succeed if you’re out of control with your finances. With the tinest of money, you should have budgets and feel in control and even save.
This is true abundance.
The trick to abundance is being grateful. I go to Trader Joes at the beginning of the week and buy groceries and this is a control function for spend. I certainly appreciate the great food I buy and cook at Trader Joes and generally view restaurants as unnecessary.
This is a result of my ketogenic diet and intermittent fasting which helps me appreciate simple foods as though they’re luxury. As much as I like restaurants, I don’t need them and would rather stay in ketosis so my $3 worth of eggs and spinach taste just fine.
However I certainly want to be in a place to eat out every single day if I wanted to, I just don’t. Some nuance to be sure.
Make a budget, be grateful and appreciate what you have and get whatever it is you want but for the right reasons.
People reflect back what you believe about yourself. Believe you’re the best.
Professionals work with people who are entitled enough to be there. Believe you deserve.
Mates want to mate with people who love themselves and believe they’re deserving of that love. Love yourself.
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and others will do the same.
It begins by investing in yourself wholeheartedly believe anything you want is possible and that you deserve it.